Haiku Review

Back when I joined COTMA it was jokingly suggested that I do reviews in haiku. So I've taken up that suggestion as a little experiment. Here are the results, song-by-song haiku reviews of some previews and singles. The little stars denote a rating out of 5. Enjoy!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero Single [?]
Metro ****
Pulsating rhythm
Electronic beats pervade
Not a bad single.

Kinch – The Economic Chastisement
The Economic Chastisement ***
Ominous organ
Like a game’s dungeon level
Pretty sounds prevail.

C.V. ***
Apathetic man
Singing over piano
What does this song mean?

Handclap. **
This sounds so happy
It is hipster irony
I just can’t dig it.

Ken Hoyne – Why
Why *
This is awkward man
The album art looks hardcore
Is this a church song?

Still You *
Classic rock strumming
This shit is way too sappy
Someone please stop him.

The Valley Tonight: Adele & The Script

Tonight at 8 p.m., Welsh soul songstress Adele hits up Tempe's Marquee Theater, and Irish rockers The Script open the UK music celebration.

Slipknot/Coheed and Cambria/Trivium @ Jobing.com Arena 3/5/2009

To begin with, I missed Trivium because, for one thing, I'd seen them previously and wasn't overly impressed with the show or the music, but even more importantly, I couldn't be bothered to be out in Glendale by 7 pm. Maybe I ought to have tried though. Despite arriving at 7:20, I wasn't inside until about 8, at which point Coheed and Cambria had already started. Getting in was worse than airport security, and worse than Marquee security. I don't understand how this happened given that they had metal detectors.

Coheed and Cambria was about on par with their performance in Gammage last year, and like then, this was also free (for me) so it has been nice to catch them under such conditions several times. Chris Pennie really is a stellar drummer, so it's too bad he wasn't given time to really shine in their short 30-45 minute set. In fact, for awhile I wasn't sure Claudio was going to even shine much when they chose to end on Silent Earth rather than The Final Cut...but he made the various solos behind the head/talking into guitar pickups/etc work into the ending of Silent Earth instead, which was cool. The set list focused mostly on the latest album, which was a changeup from the last show, though understandable given the audience and the fact that it's their heaviest album. However, as I expected when seeing this tour announced, most of the audience was retarded, so when they left the stage, a number of people in the crowd were giving them the middle finger or complaining that they weren't heavy enough. I wanted to vomit a little in my mouth. Normally, at a real metal show, even a band no one likes is shown appreciation if the musicianship is good (as it undeniably is in this band) because real metalheads appreciate talented rock musicians in the same way that good classical or jazz musicians are appreciated...in part because real metalheads like all of the aforementioned genres.

Slipknot was the headliner of this tour, and generally the reason I came all the way out to Glendale, because though I'd never really listened to them (I knew Wait and Bleed from high school), I'd heard good things about the live show. Some people obviously don't get out enough. The music is depressingly pointless. As mentioned in my review of Modest Mouse, one thing I cannot stand is bands who clutter the stage with band members who aren't at all necessary. Normally, I regulate this criticism to bands that double in size from the studio to the stage, but in this case I have to apply it to Slipknot in general. I feel quite certain the band could be cut down from 9 members to four with minimal musical quality loss. They can't disagree, because about 4 of them spent more time running around on stage than playing music. Of course, "playing music" is a rather kind term, since two of them were just banging on drums in that painful way lead singers sometimes do where it sounds a little ill-placed or at best uninteresting. The fact that there are three drummers in Slipknot is appalling not because there's three drummers, but because there's three drummers playing the same beat. So, music quality aside, what about the stage show? Well, it was ok. A couple guys were energetic, a couple of guys were entirely boring (why is the entire stage right still in the band, I found myself wondering). Some of the stage presence was present in the brand new stage props carefully crafted to appear really old and beat up (as opposed to actually old and beat up)m and some of it was in the hilarious masks the band wears. This band is quite obviously metal, because they spend so much time cultivating a rough and hard image through carefully polished and prepared front. Might as well be Good Charlotte, I mean really.

Of course, it is unfair to rail on the band for this without giving due credit to the compliant and conformist audience. I take effort in this review to separate real metalheads from people who attend shows like this. People who attend shows like this have low IQs, are obese, lack confidence, have a lot of pent up aggression, drink heavily, and think they're unique, even in a crowd of people exactly like them, inexplicably. For every 100 of these sorts of people, there is maybe 1 real metalhead, maybe fewer. Real metalheads are intellectual. They like classical and jazz for the same reasons they like metal, and tend to prefer progressive, symphonic, avant garde and/or technical elements. They are usually engineering/science/math people, or music people, scholastically. But most importantly, they like more underground metal, so when you talk to someone who knows what you're talking about when you throw out names like Cynic, Candlemass, and Carcass, you're talking to a real metalhead. These people are not to be confused with the ignorant masses in attendance at these KUPD sponsored shows.

Skip the intro and listen to the album straight through.


It is best to know bands before they get big because when they do, the fan will not get that “personal show” feeling and end up forking over a little more green to see them at bigger venues. In this economy, such an action is best avoided. Before that happens, I will introduce a band called The Duke Spirit. The Duke Spirit released their sophomore album, “Neptune” last year, which is still delivering the goods. The band is still on tour supporting the album with their single, “Lassoo,” and performing for the audiences of Jay Leno’s and Conan O’Brien’s shows. Then, as one would expect, with that kind of recognition, The Duke Spirit also landed one of their songs, “This Ship Was Built to Last,” in the TV series, “Gossip Girl.”

Band founders Liela Moss, vocals, and Luke Ford, on guitar, met at the Cheltenham Art College in Gloucestershire, England, and then moved to a flat in London to write songs. The Duke Spirit now has four EPs and two full-length albums with “Neptune,” produced by Chris Goss (Queens of the Stone Age). The entire album fits any mood you’re feeling. An album listener can expect to hear the song, “Wooden Heart”, which is a power ballad, then get taken back by grunge-rock. It will be a hard album to get sick of hearing, with Moss’s sexy, raspy voice penetrating your ears through the wall of instrumental sound, landing them a spot for the second year in a row playing at SXSW (South by Southwest Festival).

Official CoTMA Motto

Everyone has taste, except for those without tongues

The Valley Tonight

Two all local shows to entertain your bored butt! We've got option one: The Necronauts, Skinwalkers, Hands on Fire, Porches and Bolt! all at The Trunk Space. The flyer for this one has garnered love, hate and a little New Times coverage. Doors are at 7 p.m., and entry will cost you $6. Option one is a little more dirty and rock'n'rolly, while our option two is more... abstract, folky, danceable and other adjectives, too.

Option two consists of Stellaluna, Mancub, Cardiac Party, Hello The Mind Control and Towncraft. It's $5 at the door.




Some will choose based on fliers. Some will choose based on nearby bar preference (Bikini Lounge or Lost Leaf). Some will choose based on the actual music. And some others will be brave and energetic enough to attend both. Are you naked flier man enough?

Album Review: The Bird and the Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future

Finally, an album that fills the unprecedented demand for 60's-jazz-style electropop. And I didn't even know it existed. But based on Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future by The Bird and the Bee, I'm convinced that somewhere out there, an excited fan squealed in joy at the news of this record's debut.

Ray Guns is one of those albums that requires you to accept every other aspect of the music before you can approve of the genre. To that end, The Bird and the Bee succeed. Production values are about as polished as a classic Cadillac showroom. There is not a misplaced note on this album. And then the duo ofInara George and Greg Kurstin do just what they set out to do.

"Fanfare" starts off the album with a cascade of drum rolls and synth chords from an era where nuclear-powered cars were a nifty ideas. "My Love" follows, and this is clearly the lead song. Inara's crisp voice plays against a hip-hop beat and starry-night piano jingles. And every so often Greg's instrumental choices, like chimes and acoustic guitar strums, accentInara's graceful passages. Her voice is so airy, you could fill bicycle tires with her pipes. Mr. Kurstin's arrangement skills come through on the album, artfully layering his partner's vocals in choruses and calls-and-responds.

The Bird and the Bee succeeds at actually maneuvering in the microgenre that they so craftily occupy. Electro-cabaret? Check it off ("Diamond Dave," "You're a Cad"). Electro-lounge? Yep ("Ray Gun"). Kitschy dance pop? Uh-huh. Inara even sings in Japanese ("Love Letter to Japan"). Electro-ballads? Try "Meteor," with its lush, almost adorable chorus in a vocal register that will annoy your dog. All the while, I guarantee that you'll tap your foot to the catchy kick-and-clap drum pattern. The duo even manages to fit in some tongue-in-cheek musical jokes with appreciable subtlety. "Polite Dance Song" asks the listener to--in the most pleasant motherlycoos possible--"Give it up for me, please/Put your hands in the air/If you know what's good, you wanna shake it like you just don't care," all over a hip-hop beat so sincerely organic that it's possible to laugh and feel good.

This is a record that's just too good to pass up. Although the album might be considered too conservative for the style--indeed, the two musicians do almost seem afraid to stop throwing back all those references and quotations of an era gone past--the music is just so... catchy, not in an Aqueduct kind of way where a measure or two of music gets under your skin. The Bird and Bee innovates on pop music just enough to keep things interesting and keep you coming back for the musical flourishes that hit the spot every time.

Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future was released on January 27, 2009, by Blue Note Records.

Modest Mouse/Mimicking Birds/Japanese Motors @ The Marquee 2/25/2009

Although I arrived a little later than intended, I was surprised to see that the opening band, Japanese Motors, had started by the time I arrived. Presumably, they started just a few minutes prior as I saw them for nearly a half an hour. I seemed not to be alone though, as the crowd for this band was probably the smallest crowd I've ever seen at a sold out show at The Marquee. The band themselves were alright. Nothing really to set them apart from the mass of indie rock bands out there, 99% of which are mediocre at best, despite what all the indie kids will tell you. These guys fell into that mediocre category, as they weren't painful to listen to or anything, but nor did I or anyone else I saw really get into them at any point. Still, the music was fine for an opener.

Mimicking Birds were up next, and the mimicry was completely apparent; as with birds, the music was quite pretty, but overall it was quite boring to watch. I will, however, take a moment to note the one really interesting part of the band, the drummer. The drummer probably talked to the crowd (without a microphone) more than either guitarist did, and was highly energetic and charismatic. At the same time, he was the drummer, and you know your band's in trouble when the charisma on stage comes from the drummer. The music was also a bit mellow for the show I felt...I several times wondered why I was listening to "coffee shop music" at a rock music venue. Again, the crowd remained empty, and I began to wonder how on earth this show was sold out.

As the stage was set up for Modest Mouse, I began to grow even more dubious, as a massive assortment of instruments found their way on stage including two drumsets, a stand up bass (I think), guitars galore, keyboards, 4 vocal mics, and so much more. The Modest Mouse I remembered had 3 or 4 members, not 7 or 8. If I were to name my top 5 musical pet peeves, among them there would be indie rock bands pretending to be able to play instruments they can't actually play for show value or to be cool or whatever, and also bands that record music that they can't play live without doubling the size of the band, yet not sounding any better than when they were just the original band. Thus, Modest Mouse seemed destined for complete failure in my eyes.

Modest Mouse wiped away all the doubts that had formed as a result of these early forays into the evening's music. By the time they hit the stage I had hit rather a foul mood myself, and was almost scowling as the band came on. Within minutes, I was dancing and having a great time, and glad I attended. What caused this transformation is not even apparent to me now, but I can only assume some positive energy poured out into the crowd from the music, because everyone was having a great time.

Normally, when a band plays songs you're not familiar with, you feel a little bit awkward and don't tend to enjoy the song so much as the ones you know by heart. But something that absolutely astonished me is that even with the songs I wasn't sure I'd heard, and certainly hadn't heard in a long time if I had, I was dancing and having fun the whole song through. The beat, the style, the music, it all blended together so well as to create a sort of environment of music that just made it impossible not to get swept up in it. The instruments that I had initially viewed as extraneous and cluttering were all so melded and, surprisingly, contributed a lot. The seemingly superfluous band members all played roles in developing this music environment which was unspeakably powerful. Besides the addition of instruments morphing the songs into entirely new pieces, Isaac's characteristic change of melody (or whatever it is he does along those lines) helped recreate just about every song played during the night, so that not once did I feel like I was just listening to the CD on great speakers and really loud. So few bands truly change their music live significantly from the recordings, but Modest Mouse is assuredly one of those bands.

The set list was also nothing to complain about. I had never been a fan of their latest CD, but, to the best of my ability to tell, they played very little from that album. In fact, I may be wrong, but the only song I recognized from it was the single, Dashboard. Aside from that, it was about 25% Good News and 25% Moon and Antarctica, and the rest from even older stuff. It was great. Rarely do such big bands neglect to play the new stuff in the interest of playing old stuff. In addition, whether people were fans of the band for the last decade or so (like me) or just new fans who happened to be familiar with the band's back catalog, I was absolutely shocked to hear the crowd singing along to the old songs even louder than the new ones. In fact, for me at least, the highlight of the show was Cities Made of Ashes. If that song doesn't sound 100 times better live than the already great sound they have on record, I'm a liar.

As I left the show, I felt a sort of euphoria. I can't remember the last show I was actually dancing at and screaming lyrics with the crowd, but it's been a long time. Lately I've gotten too old for that sort of thing, I feel. Whether it was just the nostalgia of when I knew this band's back catalog back and forward, or just the energy in the venue, tonight I felt years younger, and excited and energetic in a way I haven't felt since I was seeing Pop Punk bands with my friends in high school and early in college, while we sang all of the words along with the band. Easily one of the best musical experiences of my life.

Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavilion

I have one statement to sum up my feelings about Animal Collective’s newest effort, and frankly I never thought I’d say this about them:

This is the best album I’ve heard in a long time. Quote it. My happiness with Merriweather Post Pavilion is comparable to MGMTs Oracular Spectacular last year, and even Radiohead’s In Rainbows the year before. I’m going try to explain why: Listen closely!

The opening track “In the Flowers” is a very honest, darker version of A.C. Seemingly instrumental, and laced with echoed vocals (not too far from their usual style), the song is a misleading kick-off to the album; no other track is primarily in the minor key. But it builds the foundation for the whirling soundscape that follows for the next 55 minutes.

It’s the second track that brings that HUGE smile to your face. “My Girls” picks up the pace, picks up the attitude, and picks up any future expectations for Animal Collective. The song is also the first trace of the native-African singing and eclectic synth beat that you’ll find throughout the album.

What follows after is not a single wasted second of music, and not a single track that’s less than pleasing. Listen straight through the album, changing paces from the hauntingly upbeat “Also Frightened”, to the suffocatingly hypnotic “Bluish”, and finally ending epically with “Brother Sport”, upbeat, and full of life, lyrics, and happiness (cue the violins!)

Yes, I know it doesn’t seem I have much criticism to say about this album. Well I’m not going to crap on Mozart, either, so there you go. Forget about genres, tastes, labels, or whatever. If you’re a fan of Music, then you owe it to yourself to see what I’m talking about, whether a previous fan of their previous releases, or you’ve never heard of them.

If you’re tired of the same chord progressions, same sounds, same words, and same shit coming from music lately, do yourself a favor and see what happens when a band like Animal Collective actually tries to make an album:

Great Music.

Album Review: Aria Orion - Let the Sharp Stone Fly

Please, let the sharp stone fly. Maybe it will knock some sense into the head of Jules Gimbrone, who wrote this jumbled mess. Sparse and pretentious, the shortest song on this six-song avant-garde album is 4:17. Two reach the seven minute mark. Having no forehand knowledge of the band or their music, playing the CD for the first time proved a bad decision.

The musical genres represented on the album range from indie folk to atonal and acoustic. For whatever reason, the band chose to place "Dark and Light" at the start of the disc. I cannot imagine why, as it's positively (or should I say negatively?) awful. Wind chimes kick off the song (never a good sign), transitioning into some of the weirdest Bjork-ish warbling I've ever heard. A slow string dirge follows for three minutes, and the song finishes with what might best be described as Schoenberg-style acoustic ska.

The title track comes next, and I can't find anything much better to say than, "This music is completely unplayable on the radio." Um, the musicians are competent? They play well, but the music they play switches focus all the time. Sometimes I feel like I'm listening to a poetry reading--wait, it's klezmer time! Then it's a drum interlude... what the hell is that guitar doing? Wow, this accordion and oboe section is boring, etc. etc. It goes on, and I don't know why this music was put to CD. None of it follows any semblance of structure or convention. "When I Wake" shows initial promise with its mournful vocal sections, but it's all lost in the shifting styles each song encompasses. When I hear something good, it's quickly set aside for a new movement. In the end, even "When I Wake" doesn't deserve radio play.

Someone should tell composer Jules Gimbrone to write fewer of these weird songs. The closest to mainstream is "Augur," which has all the texture of a forest scene conceived by indie hippies for the first half, then morphing into some strange minor section using strings in a way that they not meant to be used for. If my descriptions sound vague, it's because there is little that Aria Orion could be compared to. Listening to Let the Sharp Stone Fly, I get the idea that quality songwriting came second to unconventional songwriting. If any of my colleagues suggested that they would play this album on the air, any acceptable reason for this would only satisfy me if it were written in a lengthy essay.

Any time Let the Sharp Stone Fly gets anywhere near listenable, the band suddenly veers away from such sounds as if to say, "Oops!" Listen if you like tone deaf music, or if you don't like anything anyone else listens to. Even the jazz freak-out Radiohead once used in "The National Anthem" is more listenable than this. I'll let John Hodgman sum up my opinion of this record: